A New Song for 2017

Abide. Rest. Comfort. Hope.

Another year gone, another word- but so much more -joins the list.

It was truly a year of practiced hope.

We’ve been raising a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder for about nine years… from foster care to adoption. It has been incredibly difficult and at times, I’ve felt helpless and hopeless.

My family has experienced trauma on a few fronts, all of which affected my marriage, bringing my husband and I to a year of counseling (which greatly helped). We also see individual counselors / mentors to help us navigate the emotional waters of raising a child of trauma (who re-injures in a home with other children.)

We live cross-culturally in a place we love, but in a place, all the same, that differs in language, culture, expectation, money, and norms. We weave in and out of Alemanish Germany, Alsatian France, and Northern Switzerland and a Christian conglomerate of individuals working together from every different denomination, from different countries, and from different cultures with a common purpose and many different ways of getting there. It would be enough to live within one of these cultures, but we daily navigate them all.

And to do that, we have to raise our own salary… which adds another layer of stress (I mean, opportunity to trust and hope and believe).

This is just a sampling.

Needless to say, the words abide, rest, comfort, and hope have been crucial to my last four years. Their deep meaning has carried me and comforted me and challenged me in ways I could never have expected. And as I said last year, each word continues on long beyond December 31st. They weave together into a more beautiful hug.

This year, for awhile, I thought my new word was going to be expectation. It’s close to hope… and I’m fine with a thread of hope continuing to weave through my life story. However, as I was recently on a walk and pouring out my heart to God, I heard myself asking Him for a new song.

Okay, that’s not a word. But I’m going with it.

My last few years have been heartache nestled among great beauty. I have so much to be thankful for, in spite of those things which have challenged me to the core. And, looking back at the me who arrived in Germany nearly five years ago… I’m a different person. Hopefully a better person. Certainly a person, though, that has been to the ends of herself multiple times. Who is clear that she is weak and only He is strong. Who lives in the constant reality of her inability to affect change in the circumstances around her and the incredible ability of God to be the Change-Maker. A person with deeper compassion for godly, loving parents who are struggling, suffering marriages, individuals with depression, the lonely, the lost, and the broken.

And I’m ready for a new song.

There are sweet glimpses of healing and growth and joy in my family’s future. This is where I thought expectation would be my anthem… but instead, I know the Singer and Dancer of my soul delights in this coming season with a new song.

A song of deliverance.

A song of joy.

A song of peace in storms.

A song of love.

For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)

 

The Song

5-minute-friday-1 What do I write about a song?

That thing which moves my entire life, lifts me from pure carnality to spiritual actuality, freeing me from the constraints of worry, stress, anxiety, fear. Those chains that would tie one to the core of the earth, scrunched and pulled and weighted.

The hardest places for songs to birth, and yet, the most necessary for freeing the captives and healing the diseased.

Song.

Tune and melody and harmony, synchronized in unified voice and strain, a trinity that transcends all that would cage it, loosing the locks of everyone around.

This is song.

More than just music and words and carefully penned notes.

Song is when the depths of spirit and soul collide, quake, and burst into the realm of known, flying on wings of emotion poured, propelled by the breeze of deliverance, shouting its freedom to the world.

Even songs of pain, brokenness, devastation, anger, envy, loss… all a liberated cry from the womb of its author.

A cry that resonates with the brokenness, devastation, anger, envy, loss… the pain of everyone imprisoned… lifting them from their prison and giving voice and melody to what is too hard to say… where words alone are inadequate.

Song lifts us higher and higher, until we lift our eyes and find the eyes of the Composer.

The great Maker and Creator, who sends His song throughout the earth to heal, free, rescue, pull-out, deliver.

The Song that began in eternity, past and future, with our names in the chorus and His purpose in the verse, sung boldly, confidently, powerfully.

The Song that won’t be silenced.

It lifts my head, wraps me in a melodic embrace, makes my cacophony beautiful… somehow.

Bids me come and take up my stand… as musician? As soloist? As choir member? Each has a place in the song of Glory, sung not just with training, ability, or skill… but with passion and hope.

The Song of the Redeemed.