Five Minute Friday – Cherish

5-minute-friday-1I’ve never known the true depths of cherishing until, once formed and ready, he left my womb and entered my arms. And heart.

This was new.

This looking at another human and feeling the sting of tears meet the sweat of hard work as love overwhelmed.

As gratitude took hold, blessing drew in its breath, and a mother pondered what she could have possibly done in the world to deserve this joy.


Even through the frustration and discomforts of learning him, studying him. training him… this joy so deep it hurts finds an echo from this moment into eternity. And I realize that there is nothing I wouldn’t lay down for this little tiny man-child. This being gifted to me to love, to raise, to usher into the world with purpose.

And then, in mid sensing of these deep things which are mostly felt and rarely understood… a halt.

A silencing of my thoughts as His voice breaks in.

“Sweet daughter, this is a drop in the ocean of how deeply I cherish you. This gift of a child is more than just the child… but a chance to stand in my shadow… to experience the heart of a parent for their child. Magnify it beyond reasoning, purify it above all depravity of this world, and remove every condition that creeps in with fear… then you will see how deeply my own heart beats for you. For him.”

I am cherished.

So are you.


Five Minute Friday – Dive

5-minute-friday-1 It’s Friday!

I missed the last Five Minute Friday… the day, the week, the whole month of December… flew by. And here I am, almost missing it again.

But not.

I watch so many people… myself sometimes too… standing on the edge of everything beautiful and good and true. Seeing that, within reach, lie our hopes, our dreams… thrills that usher life into our hearts and souls.

Yet our feet stay rooted.

Because those dreams and hopes are within reach… but first a step is needed. One small step. And it happens to lead off of a cliff of all things familiar, known, and comfortable. This step becomes a dive into a sea of all that we’ve longed for.

Fear nails us to the stoney edge. The wind beats at our faces, tells us that to let go and dive in will lead to ultimate ruin, disappointment, failure. Because who are we to have what we hope for?

Inadequate. Insufficient. Insecure.

What would happen if we could actually live the life we want? Ruin? Sabotage? The wind is strong and convincing.

If we let it be. If we listen to its voice and agree.

But it’s a lie.

We must dive in! Who are we not to give it a try? Failure is no end… only an ushered step onto a better path… a guard rail that keeps us going the right direction. Closed doors are not rejection… no, they are direction. Our fears deceive us into thinking that the cliffy edge is a better place to stay… gazing upon our possibilities with hopelessness.

But not me, not this year. I want to dive in. I want to flail and fling and fail… so that I can get closer to succeeding. I want the doors to close like the formation of a grand arrow pointing me to my destiny… the purposes and plans for which God has already determined for me. How easily I would be distracted and lost if there weren’t bowling “bumper guards” of life to keep me from going down the gutter. Missing the pins altogether.

2013 will be a year of diving. Diving into a large city of other writers, strangers yet, to see how I can be stretched, grown, and mentored in my craft. Diving into teaching a Creative Writing course to missionary high schoolers… when I’ve NEVER been a teacher. Diving into new languages, new cultures, new experiences… all of which are terrifying and thrilling… knowing that there are so many opportunities for failure… for direction. For purpose.

Without diving in to the scary, uncontrollable possibilities of life… there is no purpose greater than the small, feeble ones we can manage on our own.

A fun video by Steven Curtis Chapman… Diving In 🙂



CHRISTMAS Merry Christmas and Happy NEW YEAR!

Today is the last day of 2012. We’ve taken the kids to play in a newly discovered park. We’ve eaten lunch. I’ve worked on a photo album for my three-year old… I’m still finishing her first year *sigh*

Tonight we head to one of the student dorms… now rather silent and empty as the students have gone home to over 52 countries to spend the holidays with their families. We will shoot off some fireworks with new friends, eat lots of yummy food, and enjoy some time of worshipful music and the company of “brothers” and “sisters.”

Other than that, this last day of 2012 hasn’t been so utterly different from the days preceding it.

In fact, it’s sort of a quiet day compared to the others.

One year ago today, I was sitting in the home of my husband’s Aunt, Uncle, and cousins in Oregon… soaking in the sounds and smells of a family gathering… something I didn’t have growing up.

We brought in 2012 together… having no real idea all that this year would hold. We stood on the threshold of much unknown, mountains to climb (or move), drastic change… staring off into the universe of blackness with stars to light the way.

Now here I am, a year later, smiling back on all that stood before the Marcy of December 31, 2011… a year older, wiser, and very far from “home.”

The Marcy of December 31, 2011 gazed into her foggy future… knowing there was an impossible amount of money to raise, a household to sell, jobs to leave, friends to cherish and treasure, and less than a year to do it.

  • God has once again made the impossible, possible and funded our ministry in Germany. We didn’t do it. He did. And His people.
  • We’ve moved across the world to Germany in order to partner with Black Forest Academy, TeachBeyond, to meet and love on Germans and local missionaries, and give our children the experience of their lives.
  • I ended a job with The Academies… a job I loved with ladies I loved even more.
  • I began and ended a job that I never expected to have! Serving alongside a woman who became a friend… helping her change the life of a six-year old girl forever.
  • We moved twice and spent a month on the road.
  • My husband and I took and completed the course Perspectives on World Christian Movement.
  • I completed my re-certification for my Rehab Counselor Certification.
  • My husband graduated with his Masters in Education.
  • We visited and shared about our move to BFA in over sixty places… homes, sunday school classrooms, life groups, in our own home over meals shared.
  • I left my church worship band after seven years of singing with them… this was so hard to do! It still is.
  • I had a book published with SNAP Learning!
  • I attended writer conferences/seminars in Fresno, CA, Rocklin, CA, and Stuttgart, Germany.
  • I began a second “freecycle” group on Facebook… this time for my community in Kandern, Germany. Together, there are around 700 people utilizing the two groups I set up.
  • Did I mention moving across the world? Selling just about everything we own, living in furnished places, traveling to any place that would have us share about the vision of BFA… helping kids transition to a new life, new language, new culture… while trying to do the same myself?
  • We were interviewed twice with KGED 1680 on the topic of Foster Care and Adoption… both of which continue to get replayed on the radio.
  • We’ve shared meals with over twenty of the families we’ve come to know (in the four months we’ve been here).
  • I accepted the position of “Counselor” with TeachBeyond for local missionaries wanting mental health services.
  • I have joined a worship band at our new local church, Black Forest Christian Fellowship.
  • I completed three major writing challenges in the months of October and November… 31 Days in 2012- a daily blogging challenge in which I wrote 31 Confessions (& Lessons) from {Dad}.
  • I completed Picture Book Idea Month (PiBoIdMo), coming up with a different picture book idea for every day of November.
  • AND, in November, in one month, I completed the very first draft of a novel for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).

Somehow, I manage to look over that list and think Is that it? In a whole year, is that all I did? Does my life matter?

Crazy, right?

It all matters.

And so does your 2012… whether it will be used to remind you of how good God’s grace is, how desperately you need His mercy, or simply ending in praise that it’s OVER… it matters.

And now, here I am, the Marcy of 2012. I stand on a threshold, once again, of much unknown. I’m filled with wishes, hopes, and dreams… and a very foggy picture of what this year might hold. The Marcy of 2013 is already on the other side, looking back with that same smile, grateful that THIS Marcy doesn’t know what THAT Marcy knows… the things yet to come, the hurdles yet to leap, the mountains yet to move… the songs of joy and praise yet to sing, the gratitude yet to be lifted…

On this, my last day of 2012, staring into a universe of unknown, I grasp the hand of One who knows all… and it’s okay.

It’s okay that I don’t know.

And it will all matter.

Happy New Year to each of you as you reflect on your past year and the year yet to come. May you find God’s grace and mercy in abundance, and your joy over flowing.